Did You Write Your Wedding Vows?
As the wedding date inches closer, we keep adding things to our to-do list, and the juxtaposition of the varying importance of these items is funny. On the one hand, we've got undertakings like "order wedding dress hanger" but on the other side of the spectrum, "write our vows." Simultaneously the least and most important things are left to do.
Brandon and I are both Jewish, and decided have a traditional Jewish ceremony. Usually, this translates to no personal vows, but in the modern world, it's not uncommon to see couples integrate them. I love the idea, but unfortunately, I've got one issue: I'm a huge crybaby. Like, I cry at Subaru commercials, at favorite songs on the radio, at an adorable, happy family walking down the street. I knew that getting out the most important promises of my life in front of 250 people would not be easy, or really even possible. I would just ugly cry and ruin all of my makeup. So with that in mind, we decided to nix the reading of vows and just stick to the traditions. And then, our Rabbi suggested a perfect solution that I'd never heard before, so I want to share with all of you engaged ladies and gents.
He recommended that we write our own vows, and then incorporate them into the English text on our ketubah, which is a Jewish marriage agreement. The ketubah is much more contractual in it's nature than spiritual, so it's nice to balance out the ancient language with our own promises. Also, ketubahs are read during the ceremony, so he offered to read the English portion as well, which would 1) bring our vows under the chuppah and 2) prevent the waterworks.
So yesterday, we sat down and thought about what we want to write. What are the most important things to mention, what can be left out? We did not write them together, but we did review and edit with one another. It was interesting for me to see that my vows were a lot more focused on feelings, whereas Brandon's were based on action. For example, I said "I want to make you feel loved, supported and appreciated." Brandon said "I vow to always set the early alarms when we are adventuring." Both lines made us smile.
We took the strongest lines out of each of our vows, tweaked them a bit, and are looking forward to seeing them on our ketubah, and hanging it in our home for many years to come.
By the way, if you're not Jewish and/or aren't having a ketubah, you can still write your vows and ask whoever is officiating to read them, just in case you're a crybaby like I am!