Becoming a Mother: Dispatch from Week 6
It’s 8:36 AM, and I’ve got a hot (!!!) cup of coffee in my hand. Those of you with babies know that I’ll probably only get to take 2 sips of it before it sits idle on the counter until 1PM, but still, those 2 sips are major. I’ve showered, made a teeny tiny to-do list for the day, and managed to put real pants on. Ok fine, they are leggings. But still.. pants nonetheless.
It’s finally getting easier, just like everyone promised. Reva and I are settling into our own little routine, and my confidence is growing. I am starting to get to know my daughter and trust my own intuition as a mother. I’ve stopped googling every single thing. Which is not to say I don’t worry, just…. less.
The night feedings have gotten shorter, and easier, and the day time is getting a little closer to play time. Reva smiles at me, holds my finger, and cuddles up on me. She has the most beautiful big eyes, which truly, I’m excited to see every time I air-lift her from the bassinet.
I went to a yoga class on Sunday. An hour with my body alone, just the two of us again. Well the two of us and my giant leaky boobs. Breastfeeding is still a challenge, and I’m going to talk more about that soon. I’ve had all sorts of issues, some of which are still unresolved, but overall, it’s getting better. I enjoy the connection between us when I’m feeding her. I read a beautiful quote on this blog, where the writer said that she loved knowing that she was able to provide calmness during moments of chaos to her babies by breastfeeding. That’s a very true sentiment I feel. Breastfeeding my baby makes me feel empowered as a woman and a mother.
All this to say, dear friends, every experience and every baby is different, but for me, I’m seeing the light these days. I’m elated to squish my baby on me. To do her morning stretches. To read her a story. To bath her little butt. To be her mother.