The One Thing You Should Never Do As A Bride
Don't be indecisive.
How many decisions on average go into planning a wedding? 10? 100? 1,000,000? Of course, this depends on the wedding. Is it a city hall elopement? Or an elaborate black-tie affair? It varies based on how many parties/parents are involved. But we can all agree that it seems like the decision bucket is constantly overflowing as a bride. Color scheme, veil length, cake flavor, and on and on. While it’s so fun and such a special time, it can get overwhelming, and even tiring after a while.
By nature, I am an impulsive decision maker. Two seconds after I mentally decide on something, I want to put it into action immediately. Often times this is a curse, because I’ll change my mind again just a few minutes later, after the trigger has already been set off. Other times this works wonders, because it prevents my mind from wrestling with itself. That’s it! The decision has been made. As a bride, I have found it so challenging to think this way. We are constantly reminded that this is our ONE day. It’s only going to happen once if we’re lucky so we must pay special attention to every little detail. Suddenly these are the last shoes I’ll slip my feet into, or the most important welcome cocktail my guests will ever drink.
This indecision really took a toll on me when it came to my wedding dress. I found my dress on the first try at a salon in NYC. I had tried on 15 dresses and didn’t like any. But then, one last dress came out of the woodwork. I won’t go into the details now, but check back in November :) The ladies helping me planted an intricate, romantic veil into my hair. They gave me a pair of heels and my mom was in awe. I walked and twirled, we ooh’d and ah’d. We bought it on the spot. I was on cloud 9.
And then, a few months later, something horrible happened. I was scrolling through Instagram, and I started seeing other dresses. A pit formed in my stomach. What if I had made the wrong decision? What if this was NOT my dream dress? Had I pulled the trigger too quickly? What was the return policy? What if I found a better dress closer to the wedding? I began to do the reasonable thing and google “bride changes mind about wedding dress.” The advice I found on wedding forums really ran the entire spectrum of opinions. Some women essentially said that you must feel 100% confident in your dress. If you don’t love it, get a new one. Other commenters said that they’ve experienced this sensation, and they attributed it to pre-wedding jitters. Still, a few people recommended going to the store and trying the dress on again. Typically when you buy a wedding dress, unless you buy a sample, it’s sewn from scratch. This process takes anywhere from 3-10 months. In that time, you keep planning the wedding, being a bride, getting Brides magazine delivered, and seeing ads for other dresses.
Within six months of purchasing my dress, I had found at least a dozen other gowns that seemed a better fit for me. I called the store and asked about the return policy. I talked to my mom about it. She urged me to just go and try on the dress again. Like mother’s usually are, she was right. I went to the store alone, nervous, anxious. I slipped on my gown, barely able to open my eyes. Once I was in front of the mirror, it was like fairy dust had been sprinkled; little flecks caught in my eye and brought tears to the surface. I was completely at ease. I remembered why I chose my dress in the first place. Relief washed over me in waves.
My recommendation for all the brides out there is to take your time when making critical decisions. In my case I got lucky, but it's not always this way. Most things require a deposit, and weddings get expensive very quickly. Recognize that if you have to back out because of your own indecision, you will end up losing money. Think once or twice or thrice about what you want for your wedding, and then, make the damn thing happen. Don’t stall forever. This is not the last joy you will get to experience. God willing your life as husband and wife will only get more beautiful after the wedding. After you’ve chosen a dress, STOP LOOKING. Don’t go to any more stores “just to check out their selection.” Don’t follow your other favorite wedding dress designers on Instagram. And most importantly, don’t compare. Don’t question whether you should have a ball gown because your friend Melody wore a ball gown. Be confident in yourself as a bride, and more importantly as an individual. Let the wedding be an extension of who you and your partner are, and don’t let it consume every crevice of your mind all the time. Stay calm, organized, and focused, and remember, the most important parts of the wedding are you, your partner, and your friends/family who love you dearly, and just want to celebrate your love. As long as you’ve got that part down, you’ll have an unforgettable wedding night.
Are you a bride with questions? Thoughts? Perhaps you've been married for a while and have some advice for the new brides out there? Share your thoughts below!
photos for this post were taken by Katherine Marchand of Wilde Scout Photo Co. and cannot be shared, downloaded or repurposed for any reason without written consent Wilde Scout or Be Like Family